Why I Threw Bryker's Pregnancy Test In The Trash

Here it is, the story of how we found out we were pregnant with Baby Bryker!

It was April and I had already taken multiple pregnancy tests, for multiple months, to only find them showing up negative. Month after month. Test after test. All the while, congratulating friends who were expecting, attending baby showers for friends, liking and hearting fb posts of pregnancy announcements, journeys and bumpdates.

I rave about this book and have shared it multiple times but what kept my positive and kept "my head in the game" was the book Supernatural Childbirth. (Shout out to one of my best friends for recommending this book to me. It changes our families life, without a doubt). It has prayers, promises, scriptures, etc. of the TRUTHS and PROMISES that the Lord says about all things related to this. Also, if you want a big family and need your mind washed clean from the world, outside influences and living a pinterest perfect life, check out the book A Full Quiver.

Anyways... so one afternoon I had that "I'm pregnant" feeling. Like, I was like.. man I really think I'm pregnant. Multiple things had happened that week. Whispers from the Lord, a few things I saw on social media, conversations with friends. It really didn't have much to do with the way I was feeling, like pregnancy symptoms, it was more like fun clues that I know God was dropping. That afternoon I was downstairs in our bathroom and took a test. Now, when I took a test with B&A and it was positive, it instantly showed. I didn't have to do the whole wait 3-5 minutes thing. So as soon as it filled up and it only showed 1 line, I trashed it. I thought, "Bummer.. I really thought I was this time. But, ya know they say take a test first thing in the morning so maybe I'll do that and it'll be different."

The next morning I woke up, went upstairs to do my quiet time and took a test with me. Another immediate 1 stripe and I put it in the trash. I was super bummed because I really thought I was this time!!! I went into the bonus room and pulled out my Supernatural Childbirth book. I was reading over the promises and prayers. Specifically over the part about ASKING GOD for what you want and He WILL give it to you. After I read that I got on my knees in front of the couch and begged God for a baby. My prayer was along the lines of, "You know what I want. I don't have to say this because you already know and I've already asked but I have yet to get on my knees like this so here I am..."

That very night I was upstairs in the bathroom getting everything ready to give the kids baths. Even though the negative pregnancy test was under a pile of tissues and spit cups, I could sense it staring at me. "I'm just going to check it because, why not?!" I thought to myself. I grabbed it out and almost screamed. Two lines. TWO LINES. TWO LINES!!!!!!!!!! Not just one. TWO. OMG. I'm pregnant. But wait, what if I'm not? What if it's just a fluke because it's been sitting here all day?! Hmm... Oh wait!!! I took another one yesterday. Let me go check.

Brandon was downstairs on the computer getting some work done while I casually walked by (yeah right I was probably walking super weird or something) I mean hello. My heart was racing and I could barely breathe, but I was trying to stay composed. I knew he was getting ready to head out for a business meeting, so I didn't want to tell him before he left, I'd wait till he got home and the kids were in bed so it would be a special time. Ok, so I walked by and went in our bathroom and pulled out the test. TWO LINES. OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOSH. Two tests. Two lines. I'm pregnant. But wait... these were my last two tests I had. Ok, so now I have to go to the store and get another because, that's just what you have to do. So after Brandon left for his meeting, the kids and I ran up to walmart. I took another test when we got home and yep, 2 lines. I tucked the kiddos into bed and impatiently waited for Brandon to get home.

When he got home I had him close his eyes and I laid all 3 tests on the bed.

He was just as surprised as I was. To God be the glory. Now.. was it after I got on my knees that God decided to change the tests in the trash to positive? Was He waiting on me to fully surrender and get on my knees and pray an in depth prayer that I had yet to pray? This has been a question on my mind since the day that I took the test.

What I do know is, God is powerful. He loves me. I am valuable and important to Him. He knows the desires of my heart. He knows what I want. He sees the big picture of my life. He sees every little detail. His plans are always greater than mine. He knows what's best for me... and He will never let me down.